The Struggle With Starting Over

It’s been four months now since the last time I saw your face.

A lot has changed since then. I’ve moved on, made new friends.

You’ve spent most of your time attacking me. I’ve done my best to ignore it.

Our last few months as friends were hurtful to me in so many ways. You said a lot of hurtful things. I know walking away was the best thing for me, I needed to do it, but that doesn’t make it hurt less.

We were best friends for a decade.

We knew everything about each other.

Which also led to you knowing exactly how to hurt me.

There are times I must admit I miss you, but that doesn’t mean I will ever go back to you. You probably still do not understand the power of the hurtful things you said to me. You do not understand why or how I walked away and that’s okay. You will never understand what it’s like to have that kind of self worth.

Let’s get something straight that’s not a dig at you, in your own words you don’t know any better, this is just how you were raised.

I walked away because I outgrew you. I refused to become what I was raised to be. I learned better, so I do better.

You will always be stuck in your ways because you don’t want to do better. Growing scares you, but not me.

Now I’m starting over, rebuilding what I once was. Including starting over something you and I worked on together. Starting over on a project we worked so closely on is what makes me miss you now. I wonder what ideas you would have come up with and what things would look like with your involvement. We always were good at working together on our projects, our ideas blended flawlessly.

Now I’m on my own and I’m making my own decisions and that’s really scary, but I will figure it out. I always do. I will rebuild what I had, but this time it will be mine and I will do it all on my own because I am strong enough and contrary to what you believe I don’t need you to succeed. My successes do not depend on you.

I am capable of doing this on my own and look at me I’m doing it.

Submitted by: Anon

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