Ghosts

TW: Violence, Attempted Murder

 

I’m 36, and I can’t sleep in the dark til this day.


I lived with my aunt who’s boyfriend beat me black and blue literally head to toe at the age of 3, tried to drown me in the community pool, and back then I used to think I had ghosts coming into my room at night.
It wasn’t.
It was him. My aunt never knew and til this day I’ve never told her or my family. I have blocked out most of it so really, what’s to tell?
I just know the general idea of what happened but I don’t remember specifics.
That’s one good thing about PTSD I guess. If I remembered every detail about my life’s worth of past trauma I couldn’t handle it.
My aunt did finally find out who he really was the day he tried to drown me in front of her, and the day my mom took me to the bathroom on a visit and realized I was one giant bruise from neck to feet. Haven’t laid eyes on him since then that I remember.
I didn’t swim again until I was 11 years old at the pool at my old apartment and a drunk man threatened to throw me in. I just wanted away from him ASAP. I still cannot stand to be around drunks. My fight or flight kicks in the second I smell it on someone’s breath. It’s just funny how trauma sticks with you even if you don’t remember it all. 33 years later and I still sleep with a light on.

Submitted by Anon

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