Hindsight Is 20/20

TW/CW Domestic Violence

Looking back now I can’t tell you what attracted me to him. Maybe it was because he was older, maybe I was just young and rebelling. I really don’t know.

He seemed charming to me then, now I have no idea why I thought he was anything other than a joke.

He was almost ten years older. Everyone warned me it was going to end badly, they had no idea just how badly it was going to go. But I kept telling them I was fine. We were fine. I knew what I was getting into and I could handle it.

He bought me dinner, took me out. It was exciting. No one had ever done that for me before. He loved to show me off.

I didn’t notice that I was slowly losing myself. My friends started to disappear. He isolated me without me even realizing it.

It took him less than a year to make sure my life was all about him. His friends offended me, he defended them and said I was being oversensitive. I shut up.

His family offended me. Again I was being oversensitive and again I shut up.

Slowly I shut up about everything.

Why on earth I married this man after all this I’m not sure. Complacency is my only guess.

I made new friends. These friends adored him in the beginning. He seemed so nice. He loved me. He took care of me.

And then one day it happened.

He made a joke, it was a stupid joke and I told him so. In front of one of his friends.

He turned and screamed at me before he could control himself.

His friend saw everything and stepped between us.

His friend looked at me with a look that said exactly what I was thinking. If I didn’t get out this man was going to kill me.

At this point, I had no family around me, very few friends. He had me right where he wanted me. I was trapped.

It took me four years from that moment to escape, but I did it.

Over those four years his threats got worse. My friends started seeing him for what he really was. He stopped trying to hide it.

On my Facebook one day he went off on me for something I posted. No one said a word. No one stood up for me. That told me a lot about all of our friends.

A week before I left him, with my plane ticket already booked and him completely in the dark, he threw a table at me in a crowded restaurant. Not one spectator asked if I was okay. No one said anything. They just stared in horror.

I have no doubt this man would have killed me while everyone around me did nothing but watch.

It took several years of therapy for my fear of him to fade. I kept looking over my shoulder waiting for him to come after me. He hasn’t probably because he has a new target now.

I understand now that he is a narcissist and not even a good one. I was young and naive. I know better now. I’m stronger now and I do better now.

He tried to break me, but he didn’t.

If you’ve read my story I want to thank you and I also want to ask you, when you see things like this happening to people say something. You could save a life.

Submitted by Anon

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